The Adventure...

Life is funny. It really is. Sometimes it just stinks, but a lot of the time there is something amusing about it. Oh, and be careful what you wish for. You just may get it.

I've been struggling with work for awhile now. Usually because it is boring and I want something worthwhile to do. I have been working in my office for almost 5 years now. I started in my current position back in October, and have become so efficient that I often have a lot of time to waste blog surfing. Do you think that you can become too efficient? I'd have to say that, yeah, you probably can. Now, I don't have any less work than anyone else, I just choose to blaze through it, whereas, others like to talk their way through the day. I'm in a back corner, not many people to talk to unless I'm not at my desk. And I just work hard.

Yesterday my boss asked me what I think about giving up my job to two part-timers and helping another girl in our office. I told her I have lots of thoughts, but no words. Finally a few came out. "I like my job, and I don't like hers." Yikes.

After thinking about it for a little bit, I figured out the whole royal complicated plot. If they move me, then they have an acceptable reason to move another girl into our office and me out of it. I don't think that I am disliked, I am just not as well liked as the other girl who is going to be outside our office at the direction of higher administration.

And great, my efficiency has made this all possible. Anyone can do my job. It doesn't take very long. No big deal.

Well, here's the "beautiful" part. This all may just have given me the motivation and incentive to look for another, better job. With people who appreciate hard work, value dedication, and reward accordingly.

Can you feel the freedom coming?

So I'll Give it a Try

Here are my attempts at something I have never done before and I don't know if I am good at.  I took a small class on photography and was given some helpful tips about taking pictures.  I suppose that landscapes and flowers aren't all that exciting, but I think that they are beautiful.  The pictures could probably use some work, but I had a good time.  And that's what really matters, right?

It looks like the swan is looking at its reflection.

As a Little Child

When I was little I would often "dance" in front of our fireplace shield. It would reflect my feet as I shuffled them as quickly as I could, one in front of the other and back again. I danced and danced and danced, often asking people to watch me, sure they would be impressed with how fast I could move as I danced in front of my reflection. I'm sure most people said, "That's nice," or "Uh-huh," and moved on, which was okay for me. But when no one was looking I was still satisfied, knowing that I was a good dancer.

Sometimes I stop and think about our responses to compliments as adults, and how much we rely on those compliments to keep doing what we want to do. And yet, I used to respond to compliments with, "Well thanks, but I don't really do it that well," or "I don't know about that," and other such things as this. Sometimes I am afraid to do something that I know I don't do well, or I'm not sure if I do it well, even if I enjoy doing it.

A friend and I were talking about children and how humble and honest and full of faith they are. They do things if they want to, not because they are good at it, and they love it anyway. I could use more of this. Doing things because I want to and because it brings satisfaction, and not because I am good at it. I have also learned that it is okay to say, "Thank you, I really appreciate it." I think that when we are gracious we let the person giving the compliment know that their opinion is valid, and that we do, after all, have something to offer. My friend said that she heard this from another friend one time. "When you deny a compliment, you are denying that God gave you a gift." God gave us so many gifts, let us not deny that we have them!

Dance because you love it.

There Was a Boy

The other day I saw a boy who made me cry.  He was walking down the sidewalk, hugging the tall bushes that reached over him.  Lilac bushes with no flowers left.  It must have been his trying to hide from all eyes that caught my attention.  He was about 15 or 16 years old with unkempt hair.  His black suit pants were six inches from the tops of his shoes, showing his white socks and some of the skin of his leg.  His tie was askew, and his eyes were cloudy.  He looked so unhappy, and so angry, that it hurt to look at him.  From our location, I knew that he was there for a youth camp.  I'm sure his parents sent him there to make friends, but I wondered how kind people were to him.  As we passed, I wanted to stop and ask him to tell me about it.  To tell me what was wrong, to see if I could help.  I didn't know what to say to him that would make it all any better.  I smiled at him, hoping it would communicate to him that someone cared, that I cared.  Guilt rode me all the way home, and when I finally got there, I cried.  

Yesterday I went to a retreat for work and had a great time.  We were all put in groups with people that we didn't know very well, and because I chose a service group, many of the people I met were older women.  I loved to hear their stories.  Throughout the day I began to notice a middle-aged woman who never seemed to talk to anyone else.  She was slightly over-weight, never smiled, and ate at every meal by herself.  We had a class together and she didn't talk to anyone.  I wished that someone would talk to her and wondered why she was alone and seemingly unhappy. 

It was at the end of the day when I noticed that she was again by herself that I remembered the sad boy who I had wanted to talk to.  Here was another opportunity and I didn't want to miss it.  I went and sat by her and talked to her.  She was shy, and had a beautiful soft voice.  She told me a little bit about herself at my prompting, and I also learned she asks very good questions about others.  We didn't talk for very long, but I learned that she is beautiful.  

Just like the boy is beautiful.

I missed an opportunity with the boy, but life is merciful, and God is merciful, and sometimes we get new chances to do what we wished we would have.  To change part of the world in a small moment, to make someone happy.  

And perhaps, greatest of all, to change ourselves.