a different kind of girl

here is today's less than enjoyable experience, but hey, that's how life goes sometimes. today I was talking with some people in the back of the office and a co-worker from my previous job came and joined us. the conversation continued, and during a lull, i jokingly asked him if he was bored without me there, and all my incessant chatting. he replied that he had actually had an enjoyable morning and i remembered having seen a very fun co-worker over there with my previous group and having a great time. i made a comment about it, but he was already continuing on to say, actually, i was thinking to myself earlier that it is pretty fun here with someone beautiful gone, no offense or anything. a gasp emerges from the girl behind me. i feel hurt, and surprised because he had always been so nice and i didn't expect that.

i admit, this was frustrating. i don't really care too much about the comment itself because i know that i am not one of the more fun people in the office, but it helped to resurface the insecurities that i feel about myself and to further emphasize that the most funny, beautiful, witty, and excitable people seem to be the most valued. i'll admit, it took me a little bit to think about not being angry at him. it took me a little bit to realize and remember that although the people listed above are the most prominent, it is the people who are kindest, most loving, most honest, and so on, who are the most important to others at the end of the day.

my friend told me a story about dropping the boot. she said that one day she and her brother were having a pity party when they realized that they had more power than to whine and cry about their situation. her brother picked up the boot and said, once this boot hits the floor, we move on with happiness and confidence. and so, when he dropped it, they did.

and so, I drop the boot.